Downcast...gray...

I can go a whole week and never hear from a soul.  Oh, I will 'see' them on facebook, but not in person.  Nor will I hear from them.  I make a point to call whoever is sick or send a card.  There are calls to my birth state of Tennessee, but rarely do I hear from them.  I also go days without a decent conversation to a living soul.  My husband, God love him, is not a talker.  There are days where 'goodbye', 'I love you', and 'Hey you' is all that is said between us.  I am so lonely that I could die! 

My mind gets to wondering and pondering during these lean times and the enemy of my soul shoots his sickening words into the very core of my thinker.  I start getting mad, then sad, then despair sets up its easy chair in the frontal lobe of my brain.  I then suffer from the "stinking thinking" syndrome; this in turn effects my behavior.  I become moody, sullen, melancholy, sleepy, weepy, snacky and then I get negative.  I am not a overly positive person by nature anyway---throw the devil's easy chair and I produce seven depressing dwarves of my own!  

Today, is one of those days.  My soul is gray (like the sky) and very downcast.  So, I am here to write and allow the Holy Spirit to cast out the occupied satan seat and perk me up for God's Glory.  " Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." This is Psalm 43:5.  I need to praise Him no matter what.  There...some praise music on....Kim Walker....Bless the Lord Oh My Soul.  :)  Nice...

I always seem to turn my head away from the God of my salvation when I get like this.  I read somewhere here recently that man is born facing away from God.  When he repents he is turned toward God and follows Him.  I keep turning around....sigh... 

The entire Psalm is:

1 Vindicate me, O God, and defend my cause
against an ungodly people,
from the deceitful and unjust man
deliver me!
2 For you are the God in whom I take refuge;
why have you rejected me?
Why do I go about mourning
because of the oppression of the enemy?

3 Send out your light and your truth;
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy hill
and to your dwelling!
4 Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God my exceeding joy,
and I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God.

5 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.

 

There seems to be times when I feel that God has rejected me just like the writer of this Psalm, but it is written, I feel this way "because of the oppression of the enemy".

I need God to send out His light and His truth.  I want them to lead me.  I pray these bring me to His Holy Hill--to His Dwelling!  Then I can go to the altar of my God and praise Him!!! 

I need not be alone, downcast, melancholy, depressed --- all because I put my hope in God of my salvation!!

Nice pep talk...all based on the Word of God!  Typed and prayed back to my Abba.  My soul is lighter...even though the sky is still gray. 

\o/