Friday, February 1, 2013
A love letter....
My dearest daughter,
I was sitting in Starbucks this afternoon with your brother and two of his friends. We had just finished with a field trip to the MacArthur Memorial Museum. The girls wanted a frappe and I thought it would be a sweet end to our stressful outing. (You know I have always said that education is wasted on the young...)
As I was sitting at a little table across from the three reluctant scholars-my thoughts were about you, my dear daughter. I was reminiscing about the fact that you were the one who introduced me to Starbucks. I also remembered that you had to be the one who ordered for me because I didn't know the Starbucks lingo. You rattled off the orders like it was your first language.......
I was remembering how happy you were then. All smiles and conversation. All filled with joy and song. All girlie and classy at the same time. Make up on, dressed nicely, smelling divine.......
What happened to my young, beautiful, cultured, homeschooled, Bible believing daughter? Where did she go?
It pains me that just about every choice you have made since you were 20 has been made without God factored in anywhere. You were raised on the Rock! Why are you opting for sinking sand?
You once told me that I taught you about sin...I just didn't teach you how much sin was out in the world. Huh? Everywhere we turned I pointed out sin and its consequences; I taught you to go to God's Word to do battle against it! You had it memorized--remember?
I did prepare you for life--a life for serving God--a life with God! I taught you God first...everything else second. I may not have modeled it to perfection, but you always knew that I began with and ended up with God. Sometimes in the middle I got twisted around, but eventually I found my way back and stayed under His Wing. You witnesses this! You saw the struggles AND the victories! Have you forgotten?!
Now, you have turned away from God. Oh, the pain this brings...not only to me...not only to you, but to our Heavenly Father! This actually concerns me more than your poor financial status or your cutting yourself. Leaving the God of the Universe..Your Creator and King!?!
I know that God still loves you! He has loved you from eternity past, present and future! Not because you can feel it, but because His Word declares it! Page by page, chapter by chapter, word for word. He loves you!! I love you, too!
Even though I cannot open our home to you at this time...
Even though I cannot rescue you at this time....I still love you! This decision was not made lightly. Your daddy and I fasted (quite involuntarily...we were so upset that we had to fast or throw up!) and prayed about this decision. We went to two prayer meetings. Daddy went to the men's prayer meeting and I went to the Deborah group. We decided that the answer we got from the LORD from the prayer meetings was going to be what we do.
Not one lady in the Deborah group said to allow you home. Not one man in the Men's group said to allow you home. The overwhelming consciences was to let God work. We are not your rescuers. We can not bail you out of your troubles. You must go to God and God alone. He is your answer. He is your break. He is your respite. He is your deliverer!
With all this in my mind and in my heart...I am declaring that I love you and I am still your mother! You can run from God, but for each step away from Him...I am going to pray harder! I am going to pray like there is no tomorrow! I am standing in the gap--for you, my dear one! God will hear the prayers of this saint!
The longer you strive to stay away from God...the harder He is going to pound you! He knows the tool to use to mold you into His image. You cannot run! You cannot hide! No matter how deep you fall in the pit that you keep digging...God is going to be there!
The more you curse God...the more I am going to praise Him! I am going to praise Him for both of us! I ate for two and can certainly praise for two! Praise, as you know, is a weapon of Heaven! No earthly weapon formed against us can stand! I am breaking out the big guns! I am putting the Praise Band out in front of the army that I am calling down for you!
Prayer and Praise is all I can do for you right now, but it will be enough! Do not under estimate the power of P2! We are to pray without ceasing! God loves us to pray His Word! Get ready for it! God inhabits the praise of His people! Get ready for it! God is not going to let you go! He cannot! You are engraved into the palm of His Hand!
So...my dear...get ready...God will get you through this! I am going to remind Him everyday...several times a day...that He has a daughter in you and He needs to take care of you and bring you back into the fold. You had better brace yourself because when God moves EVERYTHING SHAKES!!!!
Let me warn you....It will get worse before it gets better, unless, God chooses a Damascus Road Conversion. I know that He does this at times, but you have already been on this particular highway to Hell for 5+ years...so I mean it...you had better grab on to something solid (like the Rock of Ages...the Chief Cornerstone, for instance) and hang on...
A mother's prayer is powerful!
I am loving you,