Monday, June 11, 2012

Monday "mourning"....

I wish I had lovely pictures to show everyone this morning, but alas I do not.  A morning headache and backache prevented me from doing the little gardening that I had planned for today.  Plus, it is hottttt....I do not like to be out in the heat.  I never have and I probably never will.

This morning I was a bit upset with myself.  It is hard because I still see myself as a miserable failure.  I know, in my brain, that I am not an utter complete failure, but I battle this demon everyday!  Truly I do...   Couple that with some bad decisions, a few ungodly off the cuff daily statements, financial woes and such....well, it leaves me with the "failure" syndrome.  Argggg!!!!

Anyway, how I managed to get out of the doldrums this morning was to just get busy.  Busy with what God has for me to do.  As I am doing the laundry...I thought about the verse that says, "Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool." Isaiah 1:18.  I am thankful that my sins can be white as snow.  (There is no failure in that is there?)

When it came time to clean the kitchen I asked God to give me a lesson in this dirty room.  I was washing dishes, scrubbing counters, putting away dishes, grinding meat for supper and I waited for something--anything. Then, 1 Timothy 6:8-10 came to mind. (I had to look up the address to write this though.)  It says, "But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs."

I am a bit bitter about our financial tribulations.  Plus, it seems that our daughter and her husband are under the same curse.  I stopped what I was doing and prayed against generational sins and curses over my husband's and my lives.  Then I prayed the same thing for my daughter and her was my son...I prayed for him, too.  Generational curses, I pray, went down the drain!!!

Now, the rest of my day will be just enjoying a neat and somewhat clean home--cooking a nice supper of homemade meatballs over brown rice and sauteed squash and zucchini. (I didn't think I had enough ground beef, so I ground some in my Vita-Mix.  I have never done that before and it worked well.)  

So, I am on my way outside to sit at my picnic table in the back of my yard and take care of some dried oregano.   I drastically cut back my oregano and put the branches up on my heating/cooling unit and boy did they dehydrate!  So, now I am going to crumple them and put them in a labeled jar and store them for future use.  I may even put some in my meatballs tonight.


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