Feelings...woe woe woe...feelings...

                                       


I am really feeling unappreciated today.  I seem to BE the only one who knows how to load the dishwasher and then actually run it.  (It takes a great deal of know how to push the right button.)  Then there is the actual cleaning of the sink.   Gee, a little soap, a little water, a dish towel, some elbow grease and then a good rinse.  It must be rocket science and since I was a nurse...which falls under the sciences in college...I am the only one qualified for such a task.  Sigh... 

There are other tasks that seem to be mine and only mine... Picking up everything and putting them away.  What about the folded towels that have been in the laundry basket for a week?  I'm I the only one possessing the skill of putting them in the linen closet?  I know this is not rocket science....I think.

I am aware that God sees all that I do, but my attitude in doing these monumental tasks have not been done in love, this night.  Thank the heavens that my men have been in bed and away from my unappreciation pity party that I seem to be having.  It is just that I do feel unappreciated and taken for granted which, in turn, makes me feel unloved.  (My love language is "Serving" so when it goes unappreciated it feels as if my love is being rejected....hmmm...I need to work on this.) 

I probably could take all of these "tokens" of my life if I had a night out or a vacation (at least once in thirty years of marriage) or a decent Mother's Day.  It seems that I am always an afterthought of the family I am forever serving.  This makes me very very sad.  It is so hard not to grumble when I think I deserve something...gee..this is another thing I need to work on.  At least I am honest..ehh...

Of course, I am going to go to my Heavenly Father....ask for forgiveness...repeat the verses that seem to be my montra for 2012...The Lord will replace what the locust have eaten;  I lift mine eyes to the hills..where does my help come from...My help comes from the Lord...Maker of heaven and earth.  I will take some time to place my focus back on Him, drink another bottle of water, brush my teeth, change into my nightgown, crawl into bed, hum a hymn in my head until I fall asleep.  I know I will feel better tomorrow morning.  At least that is my prayer. 

Gosh, I am feeling extremely human and tired tonight....

Sharon